The 10 Commandments of Pushing the Prowler

The day I discovered the Prowler was the day I was born anew – a born-again fitness disciple, if you will. It completely changed the way I thought about “cardio” and got me in the best shape of my life really quickly. I guess you could call it – dare I say – a godsend.

Tired of my spiritual puns? Well too bad, cuz there are more on the way. I had some divine intervention after yesterday’s intense Prowler session with Harold Gibbons (who coincidentally is starting to look a bit like Moses). The Prowler is like a brotherhood. It’s like a not-so-secret society for those of us who aren’t scared of a little blood, sweat and puke in our quest to be awesome.

There are subtle, unwritten rules that go along with the Prowler. It’s an “if you have to ask, you’ll never know” scenario. Or an “if you’ve never pushed a 150-pound hunk of iron 40 yards a dozen times in 90-degree weather, you’ll never understand” scenario.

Except now if you don’t know, you’ll at least have an idea. Here are the 10 Commandment of Pushing the Prowler.

I. Thou shalt use The Prowler as thy main conditioning tool. Thou shalt not use false conditioning methods (treadmill, eliptical, spin bike, etc.) before The Prowler.

II. Thou shalt keep thy hips down and thy strides short.

III. Thou shalt not use less than 45 pounds per side if thou art a man, 25 pounds per side if thou art a woman. 

IV. Thou shalt not puke in the gym.

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V. Thou shalt not be a “conditioning queen,” as Jim Wendler doth say, and ignore thy strength training in efforts to get thyself “ripped”.

VI. Thou shalt not get so fat that thou cannot do 10 sprints of 40 yards with 45 pounds per side (25 pounds if thou art a woman) and strict 60 second rest periods. Such are the minimum requirements for Prowler Brotherhood. 

VII. Thou shalt not use rain, snow, heat, cold, hail, famine, plagues of locust or Horsemen of the Apocalypse as excuses to not push The Prowler.

VIII. Thou shalt ALWAYS provide a “Gentleman’s Turn” for the next person in line to push The Prowler. We don’t care how gassed thou art. Thou pushed it, thou turn it.

IX. Thou shalt NEVER GIVE UP.

X. Thou shalt not use the low handle unless thou art an absolute psycho.

 I hope you enjoyed these and had a laugh as you read them. I enjoyed writing them as I reminisced about past gut-wrenching Prowler sessions. Hopefully I’ve inspired you to go out and give it a try.

I don’t have any stock in the Prowler or EliteFTS or any other places that sell sleds. I just firmly believe that they’re one of the best conditioning tools on the planet. If you really care about physical fitness and your gym doesn’t have one (and it probably doesn’t), go buy one. Seriously. A couple hundred bucks is worth being in the best shape possible, isn’t it?